Friday, 18 December 2015

Internet Dating? No, Never Again

I’m not against it, unless it’s me, and all my friends who lived through these experiences with me really need to stop bugging me to try it again. It’s pissing me off that I have to remind them over and over again, why I’M NEVER EVER GOING TO DATE SOMEONE I MEET ONLINE.

What is it going to take, me getting raped for them to stop suggesting it?

I am a believer in warning signs, and if the events that took place when I tried to find love on the internet weren’t divine intervention sending me a very clear message that the love of my life is not on the internet then I don’t know what is. But you don’t need to hit me over the head more than three times when dates turn out this bad.  

My first experience was when I flew to California. I picked someone in Cali, because that’s where I always wanted to live. I figured I may as well try to meet someone where I wanted to settle down.

Everyone kept bugging me to try dating on the internet, after years of being nagged relentlessly I gave in. I went fishing on the web and boy did I come up with quite a catch. After talking on the phone for a few months I decided to fly out to see him, he lived in Orange County, which was very nice and clean. In his pics he was gorgeous, fashionable, had a nice light brown skin tone, and looked like a model. When I landed and looked for him at the airport I didn’t even recognize him, it was a lie. I flew across the country for a lie. He was ten years older than the guy in the photo, 50 pounds heavier, out of shape, and not even the guy in the photo.

In here lays my weakness as a woman, I should've just walked away, but I wavered between sympathy for the man, wanting to get my money’s worth for this plane ticket, and my hope that something would click, because that's how desperate I was to find love. I was there, I'd taken the time off work, I may as well see if there could be any kind of relationship between us.

On our first night out he asked me to share an entree with him, which turned my detective radar on. Then I found out he had no groceries, and by the third night he straight up said if I wanted to eat I had to pay, his bank took two car payments out of his account by mistake, and he had no money. I had been taking care of all my meals during the day while he was at work, and he couldn’t even spring for dinner, a movie, or groceries. I would never ask someone to fly here to see me if I had nothing.

I didn’t have enough money to get a hotel, and I didn’t want to spend another 100$ U.S. to change my flight to go home. I had already paid that to fly out early because he said he would have the hundred in his hand when I landed. This pursuit of love, and loneliness was going to be the death of me. 

I was home in the afternoon alone while JJ was at work, and I decided to snoop through his stuff, something didn't seem right with him, and I wanted to find out what it was. I found a piece of paper on his desk by his computer that said there was a warrant out for his arrest. Don’t even try to criticize me for that, with all his sketchy behavior, I had a right to know what kind of guy I was dealing with. I’d been scammed, and I wanted to find out the truth about this guy. Next I went for the closet, and tucked away in his gym bag on the floor was a letter from one of his ex-girlfriends crying about him cheating on her. She said in the letter that she couldn’t believe someone that acted so in love with her could do such a terrible thing to her. 

I called my sister immediately upon finding all this incriminating evidence, and she said to get the hell out of there. Then I called the airline and changed my flight to leave that night, and paid another $100 get the out of there. 

JJ came home for lunch that day to drop off his vehicle for me so that I could go shopping for the afternoon. That was the original plan any way before I found the paperwork I'd found, what really was going happen now was that I was going to take his jeep back to his place after I dropped him off, pack my stuff, put it in the trunk, then tell him to drop me off at the airport when I picked him up after work. 

JJ's office was in an industrial area, there were no other cars on the road, well except for this one cop car that passed us going in the opposite direction. My heart started pounding in my chest when I saw it, my stomach was in my throat, but it passed us, I was relieved. We turned left and pulled up in front of JJ's office building. That's when my worst nightmare happened. I thought no this can’t be happening, please don’t let what I think is about to happen, happen. Two seconds later a cop was at the driver side door, pulled JJ out of the car, handcuffed him, and took him away. They wouldn’t tell me anything, I didn't know a soul, I sat there frozen not knowing what to do. I was alone with his jeep, I didn't know if I should just stay the rest of the week since I didn't have him to worry about, or if I should go home. Damn I wished I hadn't changed my flight, I can't pay another $100 to change it again so I can stay, I thought to myself. Then I thought how the hell am I going to make it to the airport to catch my flight. 

So much for the fantasy weekend in palm springs that he promised me for Valentines Day. 

can't believe I’d already paid $150 CAD to change my flight home. Ya I know I’ve mentioned that a few times, it really pisses me off.  

Lucky for me, on our way back to his office, I remembered him pointing to the right and saying his ex-wife worked over there for a bank. So I retraced our steps, turned onto the street he pointed to, but there was no bank there. 

O.k. don’t panic Lisa I told myself, that’s not going to help, think Lisa think. That's when I looked up and saw the name of a bank on the office building to my right. I had nothing to lose, I had to check it out, and pray that, that is where she worked. 

I walked in, and directly in front of me was the receptionist, I came right out and asked her if she was JJ’s ex wife, and bingo, she was. I told her what happened, I knew they were God fearing Christians, and therefore she would most likely feel she had to help me. She made a few phone calls, and managed to find out where he was and that he was not going to get out of jail any time soon. She let me sit there until she finished work, and then dropped me off at the airport. Thank the Lord! 

JJ told me he would pay me back all the extra money I paid for flights as soon as he got out. He called me when he got out of jail and told me he mailed a cheque to me. I waited about a month and nothing came in the mail. 

So I emailed him to thank him for the cheque, I wanted to call his bluff. He's the one that said he mailed it, if he wasn’t lying, it only seemed right to thank him. He responded with a nasty message to me, who did I think I was blah, blah, blah, his ex wife didn't even like me.... he was pissed off that I pretended to get the cheque, that he pretended to send. 

Does that make any sense?

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